a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
