Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize