dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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