i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
