why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
