Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
