Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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