Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
