I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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