I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
