handjob tips. give me some.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
