Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i've created a new STD.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
