the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
