Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
