"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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