im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
