Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
