just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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