i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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