so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
