We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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