Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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