i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
