New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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