I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
