just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i dont even know how to be here
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
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