first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
