And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
