she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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