you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
