Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
did i just pee glitter
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
