I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
