Cold hands, warm shart.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize