FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
third nipple confirmed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
