You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
