I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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