My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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