mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
