i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
