Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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