I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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