It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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