I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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