Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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