i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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