butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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