Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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