Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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