He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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