is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
