once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
