we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
