yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
