Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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