Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
