You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
