arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
