Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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