I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he laminated a picture of his dick.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
