there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
