last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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