For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
