I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
