i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize