Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize