I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
