Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
